He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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