I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
