woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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