i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
