do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.