giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning