cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
