Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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