I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
