If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
