am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
