i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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