eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
