i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
