something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
