My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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