Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
