Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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