ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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