wakey wakey hands off snakey
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
