trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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