There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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