This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
