My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
