I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.