hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.