i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.