do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
