i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize