The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize