$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Green mimosas i think yes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
