from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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