she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize