i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
