How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
