Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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