she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
