I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
