how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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