idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
