Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
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Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?