if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
