super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
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I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.