Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
