Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
