I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize