Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
