I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
