LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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