Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
