Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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