This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
