Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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