Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
