No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
