Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
