By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
