I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes