What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
