I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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